One of the dates earlier this week brought up the interesting (and sometimes necessary) idea of date escape. In her story, she used a phone conversation with her mother to get taken home early. This is certainly a good option.
Another effective way to escape a bad date is to get sick. Seriously. Headaches and colds are pretty good, but nothing will get you dropped off faster than threatening to throw up in some guy's car.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Comment
The time spent on (bad) dates should be measured like dog years--
because sometimes 3 hours feels more like 21.
If people took this measurement into account when planning a date, dates would be a lot shorter, and probably more enjoyable.
because sometimes 3 hours feels more like 21.
If people took this measurement into account when planning a date, dates would be a lot shorter, and probably more enjoyable.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Escape the Date
My junior year of high school I had two really good guy friends, Norm and Darren; they were each other's best friend. One day as I was walking down the hall to my next class I ran into Darren. He asked how I was doing. I responded that I was alright, my birthday was the past weekend and had not been too exciting. Darren said, "Oh, man, I'm sorry! We should all go out to eat or something!" I thought he meant the three of us, Norm, Darren and myself.
That Friday the door bell rang, I answered and it was Darren--I then realized it was a date.
Norm was waiting in the truck with his date. Don't get me wrong, I loved these guys like brothers, they were fun and awesome, but I was not attracted to either of them whatsoever, especially Darren. So we went out to eat at some Asian restaurant, and I wasn't as comfortable as I usually was when hanging out with the guys.
We then went to our high school for the basketball game. Both Darren and Norm were in the band and were actually supposed to be playing in the pep band that night, but they skipped out so they could take us girls on a date. Well, the band director spotted them and made them join the pep band and play. So I sat with Norm's date, Sarah, whom I did not know--she went to our school but we didn't know each other. It was really crowded and noisy at the game, Sarah and I didn't really talk. Sarah saw some friends sitting a little ways away and told me she would be right back. So I sat alone, for most of the game.
Part way through the game my good friend Mandy called. I ran out of the gym into the hall to talk on my cell. She was at our friend Leslie's house, and they were going to have a sleep over and then go to our team practice the next morning together. She invited me join, but I told her of my predicament. Then I had a wonderful idea. I told Mandy that as soon as the game ended I would call her, then she was to wait a few minutes then call me back pretending to be my mom, telling me to come home.
The game ended, I called Mandy and let her know that Operation Bail Out was in effect. Norm and Darren came and got me and Sarah, and we left the school and started to walk down the parking lot to the truck. As we were approaching the truck my mom called. Not Mandy. My real mother.
I can't really remember why she called, maybe to ask me something, but she started to ask me how I was doing. I started to talk to her, but I was acting like she was telling me to come home. I said things like, "Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. Uuuuuugh!" just acting really annoyed. On the other end, my mom was really confused, she asked me, "Are you ok? What's going on?" I said "just fine," then hung up. We all got in the truck, and I told the group that my mom called and told me I needed to come home right away because I had practice early in the morning. We proceeded to drive to my house so I could be dropped off.
We were about three blocks away from my house and Mandy called. I answered and Mandy said, "Tayva, you come home right now!" -I need to explain something, my parents are from a different country, so they have accents. When Mandy called she was trying to emulate my mother's accent but was totally slaughtering it. So when she called, I was trying so hard not to laugh. I told her I would call her right back, then hung up.
We got to my house, Darren walked me to the door, gave me a hug. As soon as I got in the house, I ran to my mom and began to profusely apologize. I told her, "Mom I am so sorry! I wasn't mad at you, and I wasn't trying to be mean to you!" I then explained to her the whole situation, she thought it was pretty funny. I then drove to Leslie's house and explained the whole thing to her and Mandy. They were laughing so hard they almost started crying. At least some one enjoyed something about the night. Hey, at least I got out of the date early.
That Friday the door bell rang, I answered and it was Darren--I then realized it was a date.
Norm was waiting in the truck with his date. Don't get me wrong, I loved these guys like brothers, they were fun and awesome, but I was not attracted to either of them whatsoever, especially Darren. So we went out to eat at some Asian restaurant, and I wasn't as comfortable as I usually was when hanging out with the guys.
We then went to our high school for the basketball game. Both Darren and Norm were in the band and were actually supposed to be playing in the pep band that night, but they skipped out so they could take us girls on a date. Well, the band director spotted them and made them join the pep band and play. So I sat with Norm's date, Sarah, whom I did not know--she went to our school but we didn't know each other. It was really crowded and noisy at the game, Sarah and I didn't really talk. Sarah saw some friends sitting a little ways away and told me she would be right back. So I sat alone, for most of the game.
Part way through the game my good friend Mandy called. I ran out of the gym into the hall to talk on my cell. She was at our friend Leslie's house, and they were going to have a sleep over and then go to our team practice the next morning together. She invited me join, but I told her of my predicament. Then I had a wonderful idea. I told Mandy that as soon as the game ended I would call her, then she was to wait a few minutes then call me back pretending to be my mom, telling me to come home.
The game ended, I called Mandy and let her know that Operation Bail Out was in effect. Norm and Darren came and got me and Sarah, and we left the school and started to walk down the parking lot to the truck. As we were approaching the truck my mom called. Not Mandy. My real mother.
I can't really remember why she called, maybe to ask me something, but she started to ask me how I was doing. I started to talk to her, but I was acting like she was telling me to come home. I said things like, "Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. Uuuuuugh!" just acting really annoyed. On the other end, my mom was really confused, she asked me, "Are you ok? What's going on?" I said "just fine," then hung up. We all got in the truck, and I told the group that my mom called and told me I needed to come home right away because I had practice early in the morning. We proceeded to drive to my house so I could be dropped off.
We were about three blocks away from my house and Mandy called. I answered and Mandy said, "Tayva, you come home right now!" -I need to explain something, my parents are from a different country, so they have accents. When Mandy called she was trying to emulate my mother's accent but was totally slaughtering it. So when she called, I was trying so hard not to laugh. I told her I would call her right back, then hung up.
We got to my house, Darren walked me to the door, gave me a hug. As soon as I got in the house, I ran to my mom and began to profusely apologize. I told her, "Mom I am so sorry! I wasn't mad at you, and I wasn't trying to be mean to you!" I then explained to her the whole situation, she thought it was pretty funny. I then drove to Leslie's house and explained the whole thing to her and Mandy. They were laughing so hard they almost started crying. At least some one enjoyed something about the night. Hey, at least I got out of the date early.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Just Ask Her Out
I loathe blind dates. But, when my friend really needed someone to double with her, I agreed to appease her. The boy was nice enough and seemed genuinely interested in me. We went to a performance that included multiple clips from musicals. I thought it was ok, but my date seemed to think it was amazing. Especially during one particular piece - he sat on the edge of his seat watching the female lead singer intently. When it was over, he enthusiastically applauded. During the intermission, he mentioned that he knew the female singer he had been gazing at so fervently. I tried to seem interested as he told me their entire history, though I admit I remember nothing of the details. I think they grew up together. Anyway, he kept talking about her during the whole intermission. Then, right after the performance, he excused himself for a few minutes.
When he returned, he seemed very pleased and made no attempt to hide the fact that he had gone to talk to his old friend. He continued to talk about her and how great her voice was. I began to feel a little like a third wheel, even though she was not with us. We went to my date's apartment afterward to play games. When they decided we should get ice cream, my date volunteered (since he had a car) to run get a few half-gallons. By this time, I was reluctant to spend more time with him than necessary, but my friend convinced me it would be rude if I didn't go with him. So I did.
Guess what he talked about? That's right. His old friend. He even described to me in detail what she had said when he talked to her after the show. Then, get this, he asked me if I thought she might be interested in him. Trying to be positive, I said she probably was. I even sarcastically added he should definitely ask her out. That is when he mentioned he already did. After the show. Yes, he asked her out while he was on a date with me. I decided not to worry anymore about what he might think of me. He obviously wasn't worried about what I thought. Rest of the evening? Well, I am sure you can imagine.
When he returned, he seemed very pleased and made no attempt to hide the fact that he had gone to talk to his old friend. He continued to talk about her and how great her voice was. I began to feel a little like a third wheel, even though she was not with us. We went to my date's apartment afterward to play games. When they decided we should get ice cream, my date volunteered (since he had a car) to run get a few half-gallons. By this time, I was reluctant to spend more time with him than necessary, but my friend convinced me it would be rude if I didn't go with him. So I did.
Guess what he talked about? That's right. His old friend. He even described to me in detail what she had said when he talked to her after the show. Then, get this, he asked me if I thought she might be interested in him. Trying to be positive, I said she probably was. I even sarcastically added he should definitely ask her out. That is when he mentioned he already did. After the show. Yes, he asked her out while he was on a date with me. I decided not to worry anymore about what he might think of me. He obviously wasn't worried about what I thought. Rest of the evening? Well, I am sure you can imagine.
Monday, March 2, 2009
This Really Did Happen
Setting: It is July 3, 2005. I moved into a new apartment. It is my first Sunday afternoon. The phone rings.
Me: Hello.
Caller: Hello. This is Ryan. Is Mary there?
Me: Nope, sorry.
Caller: Ok. Is Emily there?
Me: No.
Caller: How about Kate?
Me: No. I'm the only one home actually.
Caller: Well, who is this?
Me: This is Rachel. I just moved in.
Caller: Oh. I met you in church today. Right before Sacrament meeting. What are you doing tomorrow?
He was looking for a date to go to his FAMILY REUNION on the 4th of July. UMM . . . no. Luckily I had plans.
Two weeks later he calls on a Tuesday evening to see if I want to go play laser tag on a Saturday night. I figure everyone deserves one chance (unless they are a creep), so I said yes.
Friday, the day before the date, he calls again.
Ryan: You aren't by chance endowed are you?
Me: Nope.
Ryan: Oh. Well the reason I asked is because I just found out my cousin is getting married tomorrow, and I was going to see if you wanted to go. Do you care if we go to their reception for our date instead?
To your cousins SEALING? The RECEPTION?
Me: You know, I have a work party, so I'll just go to it, you go to your reception, and we can go out another time.
Nathan: Oh! I'll go with you. Then you come with me. We'll do both.
(Note to single boys: your cousin's wedding reception is NEVER a good idea for a first date.)
This story gets better.
So we get to my work party and, of course, I'm feeling very awkward. My friend Chris, who I can tell is going to tease me about this later, says:
Chris: So Ryan. What are you studying?
Ryan: I'm studying computer science, but I should be doing public relations.
Chris: Yeah, because people that do computer science generally don't have very good people skills. (Snicker Snicker)
NEXT, we get in the car and I ask: Where is this reception?
Chris: Oh. It's in Bountiful.
BOUNTIFUL?!?!?! ARE YOU KIDDING????
BOUNTIFUL IS OVER AN HOUR AWAY!
So we drive up and have awkward conversation. Then we get there and he walks me around to every table and introduces me to every single person.
"This is Rachel. We're on a first date."
Then he asks if I want to dance, while ONLY THE BRIDE AND GROOM are dancing and everyone else is standing around taking pictures and crying.
THEN! We drive home and he tells me about his health problems. One of which, I might add, include YEAST!
I didn't realize boys could have problems with yeast.
Then, thankfully, he dropped me off at 10 pm because he is never in bed past 10 pm.
The next two weeks were followed by random text messages that said, "Hey, do you want to go play catch sometime?"
Me: Hello.
Caller: Hello. This is Ryan. Is Mary there?
Me: Nope, sorry.
Caller: Ok. Is Emily there?
Me: No.
Caller: How about Kate?
Me: No. I'm the only one home actually.
Caller: Well, who is this?
Me: This is Rachel. I just moved in.
Caller: Oh. I met you in church today. Right before Sacrament meeting. What are you doing tomorrow?
He was looking for a date to go to his FAMILY REUNION on the 4th of July. UMM . . . no. Luckily I had plans.
Two weeks later he calls on a Tuesday evening to see if I want to go play laser tag on a Saturday night. I figure everyone deserves one chance (unless they are a creep), so I said yes.
Friday, the day before the date, he calls again.
Ryan: You aren't by chance endowed are you?
Me: Nope.
Ryan: Oh. Well the reason I asked is because I just found out my cousin is getting married tomorrow, and I was going to see if you wanted to go. Do you care if we go to their reception for our date instead?
To your cousins SEALING? The RECEPTION?
Me: You know, I have a work party, so I'll just go to it, you go to your reception, and we can go out another time.
Nathan: Oh! I'll go with you. Then you come with me. We'll do both.
(Note to single boys: your cousin's wedding reception is NEVER a good idea for a first date.)
This story gets better.
So we get to my work party and, of course, I'm feeling very awkward. My friend Chris, who I can tell is going to tease me about this later, says:
Chris: So Ryan. What are you studying?
Ryan: I'm studying computer science, but I should be doing public relations.
Chris: Yeah, because people that do computer science generally don't have very good people skills. (Snicker Snicker)
NEXT, we get in the car and I ask: Where is this reception?
Chris: Oh. It's in Bountiful.
BOUNTIFUL?!?!?! ARE YOU KIDDING????
BOUNTIFUL IS OVER AN HOUR AWAY!
So we drive up and have awkward conversation. Then we get there and he walks me around to every table and introduces me to every single person.
"This is Rachel. We're on a first date."
Then he asks if I want to dance, while ONLY THE BRIDE AND GROOM are dancing and everyone else is standing around taking pictures and crying.
THEN! We drive home and he tells me about his health problems. One of which, I might add, include YEAST!
I didn't realize boys could have problems with yeast.
Then, thankfully, he dropped me off at 10 pm because he is never in bed past 10 pm.
The next two weeks were followed by random text messages that said, "Hey, do you want to go play catch sometime?"
Sunday, March 1, 2009
A Note from Our Sponsor
This week's poll: Apparently, some people are having trouble viewing the Beethoven's 5th videos because BYU blocks YouTube. If you are one of those people, go to the Pass the Ice Cream fan page on Facebook to find out how to view the videos there (because BYU does not block Facebook).
If you still can't view the videos and desperately want to have your sensibilities offended and your time wasted, send an email to passtheicecream@gmail.com--we'll try to figure something out (no guarantees).
Last week's poll: The majority of people voted to keep music on The Blog, but change the mix. However, because this week's poll involves listening to music, the playlist has been temporarily removed. The playlist will return (with new excellent non-love songs) after the close of the Beethoven's 5th poll.
If you still can't view the videos and desperately want to have your sensibilities offended and your time wasted, send an email to passtheicecream@gmail.com--we'll try to figure something out (no guarantees).
Last week's poll: The majority of people voted to keep music on The Blog, but change the mix. However, because this week's poll involves listening to music, the playlist has been temporarily removed. The playlist will return (with new excellent non-love songs) after the close of the Beethoven's 5th poll.
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