Third Wheel

*Billy had an important night. It was open mic night at the comedy club in Salt Lake and he wanted lots of support as he tried out new material. After asking lots of friends to join him, the only ones who could attend were his girlfriend, *Sally, and this story's author, *Kelly. Kelly had been friends with Billy for a long time, and wasn't worried about any awkwardness of being a third wheel. Billy was good at making everyone comfortable and like they belonged.

Things didn't get weird until halfway through the night, when Kelly glanced over to Sally, the girlfriend, and saw her white blouse unbuttoned about halfway down. Yes, halfway down. And she was wearing a black bra. 'Hmmm,' Kelly thought to herself, 'I guess it is kind of stuffy in here, but that's a little strange.' Did Kelly say anything about it? No. Why? Well, comedy clubs are kind of dark, and Kelly had a hard time opening her mouth about anything. Little bit awkward.

A little while later, things got more awkward. One of the comics stepped off stage and said 'Thank you' to Sally. She turned to Kelly and sincerely asked, "Why did he tell me 'thank you'?"

"Maybe because your shirt is unbuttoned," Kelly said, trying to be inoffensive. Alarmed and confused, Sally quickly buttoned up her shirt. 'That was strange, too," Kelly thought. Billy was only somewhat aware of this situation. He was either watching the other comics and taking notes (that's what hacks do), or on stage himself.

So what happened that night? Why was Sally confused at her unbuttoned shirt? Well, because she didn't do it . . . sort of. It wasn't until later that Kelly found out that Sally was diagnosed with multiple personality disorder, which developed on account of pain from severe endometriosis. Billy knew but hadn't mentioned it. So it was another Sally that unbuttoned the shirt, and the actual Sally that, after being embarrassed about it, rebuttoned it, and maybe a few others in between.

Moral of the story: Third-wheeling is not for the faint of heart. That, or ask for medical and psychiatric records up front.