Bad Date Tip of the Week

We've already seen a lot of bad date plans on this blog, and it seems that any activity is good for a first date these days (a cousin's temple wedding, work, the ATM). And I feel like every time I turn around someone is suggesting that some random event would 'make a great date'--firesides, guest lectures at school, community fundraisers, etc.

So I've thought of a few good bad date activities myself:

• The dentist: what's more romantic than a teeth cleaning? You could bring your date along as a spectator to your own oral hygeine experience, or (even better) set up joint appointments.
• A job interview: dates and interviews are basically the same thing anyway, so why not combine all the most nervousy experiences of life into one great trainwreck of an afternoon?
• The pharmacy: (to pick up your prescriptions). It's never too early to share medical histories.
  
• A funeral: seriously, try it, and let me know how it goes.
• A blood drive: if I had brought a date with me to give blood last week, we would have learned very important information about each other. He would have learned how I respond to highly stressful situations; and I would have learned how he responds to people hyperventilating.

Bad Date Tip of the Week

Last week's bad date tip included bad questions you could ask your bad date. Of course, responses to the classic "What's your major?" can lead to other excellent queries.

To the music major: Commercial real estate or residential?

To the humanities major: What are your plans for eating in the future?

To the teaching major: Which book/film from your youth led you to the idealistic notion that you can change students' lives through teaching? To Sir, with Love? Stand and Deliver? Goodbye, Mr. Chips?

To the law student: Are you required to comprise your moral values as a student? Or does that come with the internship?

To the med student: What unhealthy lifestyle choices are you practicing which you would hypocritically advise others against?

To the science major: Did you have (human) friends growing up?

To the computer science major: Do you have (human) friends now?--I mean ones you see in person, not just people you play online game with or met in chat rooms about online games.

To the business major: Is the gold tie and blue dress shirt combo required for your program? Or do you all just shop off the same mannequins?

To the accountant: If I continue dating you, will you do my taxes for free? (If the answer is 'yes,' and it's between the first of the year and April 15, might be worth the pain of dating them.)

To the engineering major: (No further questions, you have already died of boredom.)

Bad Date Tip of the Week

We all know that it's good to ask a date questions about him/herself. This shows that you're interested in them, and that you're a nice person. So next time you're interested (in having a bad time) and want (to appear) to be a nice (but socially inept person), try these unusual and/or probing questions:

So, how many brothers and sisters do you have that you like?

Have you ever been (unintentionally) responsible for the death of one of your pets?

What's your favorite food to binge on when you're depressed?

What movies and television shows do you lie about liking or disliking in order to gain the approval of others?

Do you feel that your job/major is actually useful and necessary in the world? If 'yes,' continue questioning. If 'no,' console them in their irrelevance or point out the necessity of your own job/major.

Bad Date Tip of the Week

If you're on a bad date, and you want to subtly suggest that things aren't going so hot, just bring up this blog.

You can say to your date, "Hey, do you ever read that bad date blog, Pass the Ice Cream?"

Whether your date says 'yes' or 'no' isn't really important--you're not that into them anyway, so you've probably stopped paying attention to their responses.

Then you can follow up with, "There's just something about this night that reminds me of that website. It just keeps popping into my head."



*Thanks to www.flickr.com/photos/tulipfleurs/2307884775/ for the great photo of ube ice cream.

Bad Date Tip of the Week

If you want to have a bad date, follow the lead of my good friend *Simon. One day, Simon commented to my friend *Emily, "If you were a Star Wars character, you would be Chewbacca."

They were not on a date at the time, but comparing girls to large hairy creatures has about the same effect no matter what the circumstances.